Dog Chapman and the N word

I always wonder how celebrities think. It seems they get a bit of a case of megalomania, begin believing their own hype, which ends up making them a target.

Case in point: Duane the Dog Chapman. I've written about him before, in particular about his problems with the Mexican "justice" system. I became a reluctant fan of the bounty hunter with a heart.

Apparently the Dog was having a discussion with his son Tucker (whose girlfriend is black) and Tucker decided to record that conversation. Dog used the N-word several times during that phone call.

There's really no justifying it, and he should apologize. I'm sure he regrets it now.

Of course the rabid media picked this story up quicker than a cigarette butt on skid row. Yes, Dog's son sold the tape to the Enquirer. Now, A&E has put Dog's show on hold, and Chapman's sympathy currency he'd built in his struggle to stay out of a Mexican jail has likely completely evaporated.

So what should his punishment be? Prepare for a long list of black American leaders to start chastising Chapman, decrying him as a racist, and feeding on their own self-indignation.

He should not have said it, but he did. Interestingly, it was not done in public or with public officials, unlike Michael Richards (aka Kramer of Seinfeld) or Mel Gibson's tirade about Jews (this story from TMZ, purveyor of Hollywood Internet and TV garbage).

What makes this conversation a little different is that it was a private conversation recorded by one individual. I'm not sure what the laws are about that in those particular states, but Tucker Chapman could be in some legal hot water over it.

I'm not defending what Chapman said, but it was in a private conversation, where it should have remained. We do have the right to free speech, including speech that others find objectionable, like it or not. I think we need to be able to express ourselves privately. Hopefully that kind of free expression will encourage a discussion where people have the opportunity to try to change the views of people who might be racist or whatever.

Obviously, it's a lot more difficult to have a public debate where you use this kind of language, which is why a private conversation is the perfect venue for it. Are we going down the road of thought control like George Orwell wrote about in 1984? It certainly seems that is the case.

Are we now at the point where we have to worry about every private conversation we have could be recorded and released to the media? This is not the kind of society I want to live in. I have had plenty of conversations where I've used objectionable words, whether playing devil's advocate, being serious or just trying to goad someone. It does not mean I am a racist, bigot, homophobe or whatever. I'm not.

I view private discussions as a learning opportunity, and anyone who's ever had a conversation with me has probably picked up on that, considering the number of questions I ask. I know I ask too many questions, but I am curious. Some people think you're prying. It's a hard habit to break, but I'm not judgmental, and I give people second and more chances. I don't always stick with my first impression about people. It actually makes me happy when I can change my opinion of someone for the better. I only hope people do the same for me.

I remember having a discussion with a friend when I was maybe 19 or 20. I later realized that person was gay. He asked me what I thought about gay people. Regrettably, I told him. Hey, I was 19 or 20. What the hell did I know? At that age, it's pretty natural for guys to think that way. I didn't even know anyone who was gay and had never met someone who I had known was gay. I occasionally suffer from foot in mouth disease; that's obvious.

My friend took the opportunity to try and change my mind, but I was a bonehead at the time, thought I knew everything, and the opportunity for me to understand was wasted. I do appreciate his efforts, but it just took growing up for me to realize that I was being stupid.

I haven't seen that friend in a very long time and I would like to again, but this time to apologize. I truly regret what I said nearly 20 years ago. But, I was free to say it and often it's only by saying stupid things once in a while that we can grow and learn. I have grown and learned. I know better now.

When you're a celebrity, apparently different rules apply. You'd think that when you were having a private conversation you wouldn't have to put on your public face. I guess that's no longer the case. Right or wrong, I am sympathetic to celebrities that are constantly hounded by the likes of the Enquirer and TMZ. It's pretty sad when you can no longer trust anyone, not even your children.